Confessions of a Serial Overthinker (Who Just Wanted a Snack)

 Confessions of a Serial Overthinker (Who Just Wanted a Snack)

By The Jobless Blogger,

Dear Reader,

It all started with a granola bar. One innocent granola bar.

I opened the cupboard, saw it sitting there like a golden ticket in a chocolate factory, and thought: “Ooh, this will be great.” But then my brain—oh, that diva—decided to stage a full-on internal TED Talk.

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Brain:

“Are you sure you’re hungry? Or are you just bored?”

Okay, valid question, Brain. But like… can we not right now?

Brain:

“Also, you said you were going to start eating healthier. Remember that documentary you watched at 2 a.m. about sugar being the devil?”

That was three weeks ago, Brain. Let it go.

Brain:

“Also, that wrapper is not recyclable in our city. Think of the turtles.”

At this point, I’m having an existential crisis in front of the pantry while holding a 180-calorie snack bar that’s made of oats and judgment.

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Plot Twist:

Fast-forward twenty minutes. I’m still hungry, emotionally drained, and somehow ended up Googling “Do squirrels feel shame?”

Spoiler: they don’t.

I envy them deeply.

So I put the granola bar down.

And I ate chips instead.

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The Moral of the Story?

Overthinking is a full-time job.

It pays in stress and imaginary arguments and comes with zero dental.

If you, too, have ever spiraled into a philosophical debate with yourself over something as simple as a snack...

You are not alone.

We are a club.

We meet every Tuesday.

We bring our own snacks (unless we overthink them first).

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Final Tip: Just eat the granola bar. Life’s too short for guilt snacks.